Mamamia publisher, Mia Freedman came up with an idea last year. Instead of New Year’s resolutions, Freedan came up with having a word for a year. The word is a theme that you want to live by to make your life and the lives of those around you better. Sounds great. For the last couple of days, I ummed and ahhed, thinking of a word to come up with. The one that immediately came to mind was ‘writing’ – keeping up with this blog and the Certificate IV in Professional Writing and Editing. I thought of ‘discipline’ in both professional and personal life in all areas. Then, an unexpected word came up to me on the weekend.
Acceptance.
Acceptance of myself and life in general. Acceptance that life isn’t perfect, I’m not perfect, (far from it). I’m a work in progress and always will be. See, over the years, I’ ve always expected things to go a certain way. I always had visions of where I should be. New Year’s Eve was a day when I expected almost everything to change – and change immediately at the stroke of midnight.
I always had expectations in my professional life that were so rigid that when I couldn’t finish the Diploma because I couldn’t find a place to do Work Placement, it left lost. My plan was so rigid and straight forward – finish the Diploma of Community Services at 24, do a Bachelor of Human Services/ Masters in Social Work, having them done at 27, (which meant I would have finished itvlast year have finished it last year), then work, and live a life and be a person I thought I should be. When that didn’t go ahead, to say I felt lost is an understatement. I felt worthless, a failure. My self -esteem was like the Tooth Fairy – it was non – existent. For a year or so afterwards, even when I started Diploma in Early Childhood Education and Care, I still felt like I’d failed. I was more desperate. I often found myself in tears for no apparent reason. It wasn’t until the third day of the Rotary Youth Leadership Awards (RYLA) in 2015, that things started looking up and I had a sense that I was OK. It was OK that life didn’t fit a rigid schedule. I was OK with who I was. Fast forward almost two years, while I haven’t gone down such a dark path since the end of RYLA, I have worried about where I’d be in my life, especially as I approach 30, (in just over two years, which is pretty close to me).
This word – – acceptance- a word that hit me out of the blue – should I accept it? I should probably try relaxing a bit. Just a tad. Sure, I’ll continue to work hard and work on what needs to be worked on, but maybe with a little bit of grace and not to expect perfection, because… well, it ain’t gonna happen in this life is it? I feel weird, even as I admit that. This word thing might be worth a try.
Have you given up on New Year’s resolutions and adopted a word to live by in 2017? If so, what is it?