My first blog was about asexuality. From 2013 to 2016, I wrote at least once a week (most months) about it: myths, other asexual bloggers and how it was portrayed in the media. I never would have imagined that I’d see an article on on asexuality in the Herald Sun.
Mandy’s self – discovery and common stigma
Woman, only known as ‘Mandy’ came out as a lesbian in her early 20’s. According to her, she had a number of relationships with women in her twenties and thirties.
Throughout the relationships, Mandy realised a lack of interest in sex and how it became an issue between her and her partners.
In her first serious relationship, she went through quite a common experience:
H (Mandy’s ex – partner), kept pushing me to speak to my GP, but I refused. I didn’t see my lack of interest in sex as a problem I wanted or needed to fix. H also suggested I see a therapist…
This is not unheard of. Unfortunately, some people see asexuality as something to be ‘fixed’ rather just another orientation. In fact, it wasn’t too long ago when asexuality was pathologised. In 2013, the American Psychiatric Association finally stopped categorising asexuality as a disorder.
In 2016, Canadian sex therapist, Morag Yule and professor and psychologist, Lori Brotto reinforced APA’s stance. They claimed that there was “not sufficient evidence” to pathologise asexuality.
After relationships ended, including a distance one, Mandy realised that her sexuality fell on the asexual spectrum.
Does this matter?
People made twenty – six comments on the article. On the positive side, some commenters were supportive
It has to be such a relief knowing that it [sic] nothing wrong with you as a person – it’s just being you.
Good on you for sharing your story Mandy. However I do think it was lost on most of the commenters. It never cease to amaze me how many people get upset by ‘labels’. Why is this
This comment hits the nail on the head. When it comes to sexual or gender minorities (especially non – binary people), people push back.
In fact, over the years, I’ve seen some parallels between how asexual people and non – binary people are treated, particularly not being believed.
Others expressed fatigue or ignorance.
Seems to me as she is attracted to females only, that would make her a lesbian. Don’t know why she would classed any different, just fancy lifestyle words
(*Sigh*) I mean, if the commenter bothered to read the article, Mandy’s relationships haven’t worked out in part, because of her lack of interest in sex.
I’m sorry but you like someone our [sic] you don’t. Why does there have to be a name associated with a particular feeling or desire. Speech.
Again because Molly experiences a lack of sexual attraction and desire. This doesn’t mean she lacks romantic attraction.
Sexual and romantic attraction aren’t the same. Most of the time, they go hand – in – hand, but not always.
Kudos to the Herald Sun
Lastly, I just want to give kudos to the Herald Sun for allowing Molly to tell her story. It’s great that an Australian mainstream media company is helping in spreading awareness about it. I still think that’s important, even in 2025.
Did you read the article “I have very little interest in sex — what it’s like for me being asexual”? What are your thoughts? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below.